Poll Position: "Gamer" (2009)

It's amazing how many not so great movies we could fit on a poll. "Gamer" won our sci-fi action movie last week. I guess this is considered to be the least bad movie? After watching it, I highly doubt this was the best movie from the pickings, as slim as they were. Though a small little gem that hides in the movie is that Gerard Butler is the main protagonist. It might be the only thing I looked forward to in the movie. But before I continue to babble on about mindless nothings, lets get into the mind of "Gamer".


In the not so distant future, "Society" is a new video game that is played by millions. Where real people play actual people in a Sims style game. They can live out sexual fantasies, rave party all day or just simply hang out. This was the idea of Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall), who has no made billions off Society. To push his idea even more, he creates "Slayer". A shooter game where the players control cons to act out a war like scenario. Why would a con agree to do so? Well if the con wins 30 games, he'll be released on parole. John Tillsman, also known as Kable in Slayer, has his eyes on getting free. He believes he was wrongfully sentenced to death and wants out to see his family again.

Kable will shoot his way to freedom!

Where do I start with this pain in the ass of a movie? Well the overall feel of the movie is similar to living a life of a 12 year old on a sugar high. He was given a camera and given all the responsibilities of a director to make a film. And this is the result. If I didn't have ADHD before, I certainly have it now. I've been accustomed to the quick cuts and the sheer lack of keeping the camera still for more than a second. But I've come to realize the movie was targeted for the MTV generation. A lot of the movie felt like a music video: flashy colours, very short cuts and a very uninspiring generic story. Although, it did have a few good songs backing it up, Marylin Manson and Bloodhound Gang, two artist that fill up my iPod.

But lets bring it back to why we really should like this movie, the amazing action. The action scenes are filled with quick cuts, quicker than my time to climax and shaky cam, faster than my right arm before climax. I could barely get what was actually going on in the movie. The scenes would rapidly change from explosion, to Gerard Butler with a gun, to a man getting shot in the face all in the lapse of 5 secounds. I honestly think I might have gotten ADHD from watching this movie, this was my biggest complaint. It couldn't stay on one idea at a time, it always needed to change it up. 

This summarizes the film perfectly. Not one single idea in one shot.

Though it did have one good general idea to the film. The social commentary about how the society would work if we didn't have to pay the consequences for our actions. While some of these 'players' are playing Society, most of the players pick out females that resemble the girls of the night and play out some sick twisted adult film.  And to think that players don't mind sacrificing a few human lives for cheap thrills. It sums of human society very nicely. Too bad it was done in a terrible way, with this less than stellar action movie.

And one thing really bugged me in this film. At one scene, Kable chucks down a mickey of Vodka (or some kind of clear alcohol) and regurgitates it into a car's fuel tank. To top it off, he also urinates into the same tank. Why? Well because he'll use it like fuel, alcohol is just like crude oil right? HOW DO I PHYSICS? Maybe in 2050 they found a way to run on pure alcohol, like those top-fuel dragsters. But there is no way humanity would allow precious alcohol to be consumed by cars. 

Dexter, why do you remind me of the Mark Zuckerberg?

Thankfully Terry Crews is in the movie, he plays a notable henchman for Castle. Though his acting is limited to that tough black guy with muscles on top of his muscles. He is still one of the greatest man to be in this film. His tough attitude really works it's way nicely into this film, it's like a cherry on top of this turd of a movie.

What can I say? The movie is a slap in the face for anyone that expected a half decent action movie. I couldn't even enjoy it as a mindless run'n'shoot'em movie. It had to do with the stupid quick cuts and annoying shaky cam. It made the movie unwatchable, I could deal with the lack of pyshics and mindless plot, but just watching this scrambled mess of a movie was irritating by all accounts. I rather have watched an Asylum movie than this any day of the week.