This week, Jim forced me to watch "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus". Another straight to DVD release. And I'm really not surprised it was straight to DVD. The basic story is that a Mega Shark and a Giant Octopus are unfrozen from the glaciers off the coast of Alaska, and they are on a collision course for an epic battle to the death. To be honest, it sounds pretty good, and quite interesting. I can't find why anyone would really hate this video? Besides the following:
Well .... the acting sucked harder than a $2 hooker, the 'CGI' effects were straight out of an early PS2 game, and the final battle scene were garbage. Seriously the acting was worse than Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter, and those were drunk college kids! The acting was stale, cold (even the 'love scene') and just plain wrong. One of the main characters was a complete Sean Connery rip off; he was Scottish, had the Scottish accent and even tried to pull the old man beard, and failed. The female character was probably the best actor out there, but that isn't saying much. The best thing about her was that she tried to feel apart of this movie and had this one thing all the other actors didn't have, facial expressions!
Not so epic war between Mega Shark and Giant Octopus
Another disappointing fact of this movie, was that they reused a lot of their CGI scenes. Throughout the movie, they replayed various different scene of the Shark and Octopus, I counted one scene to being played 5 times in the course of the 10 minute fight. I don't get it, did the director think I was going to forget the scene that happen just 2 minutes ago? And don't get me started on the final fight. It was drier than the turkey had last Christmas, AND THEIR IN THE OCEAN. This was the most disappointing part of the movie, I can deal with the bad acting and terrible graphics, but I was expecting a semi decent fight. They reused a bunch of scenes (maybe 10 in total) for a 10 minute fight. A sadly, a lot of the fight was the camera zoomed in on the faces of the actors, my potato head shows more emotions than most of the cast.
The best part of the movie, is when the Mega Shark jumps from the ocean and bites a flippin' airplane out of the sky, midflight. I know, I know how is this possible? Well it isn't, but its a movie and I must admit it was a great laugh, to bad the scene only lasted a minute. Oh look, I found the scene: CLICK HERE.
HOLY SHIT-TASTIC BATMAN, THAT WAS AMAZING!
But seriously, if you need to waste 2 hours of your time and want to feel as badly as I do right now, I recommend you get a kidney stone. I'm sorry, I couldn't even recommend this movie to my arch enemy: Greg.
So that shark airplane scene was in the movie? Damn! My friends and I fast forwarded the movie just to find that scene and we didn't find it. So we watched about 30 minutes of the movie without the payout of that epic scene. We did see the shark take out the Golden Gate Bridge though. Still a terrible payout.
ReplyDeleteFun fact: That one semi-decent actress is actually Debbie Gibson, a late 80's pop star I believe.