Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Terrible Sci-Fi Movies on a Budget: The Last Sentinel


So today is my part 1 of my brand new mini series: Terrible Sci-Fi Movies on a Budget. Have you ever woken up and asked yourself, “Wow I am in need of a terrible movie to watch and feel like I wasted 1 ½ hours of my life.” Well I have and not all of us can be as wealthy as I am, so I have done you all a favour and watched 4 terrible movies which all came in the same DVD case. Yes these were bought legally, and yes they are legal copies of the movie. The DVD case is entitled: Sci-Fi Collectors Set. Yeah, doesn’t that just sound amazing! My first movie that I watched was tittled: The Last Sentinel. It starts the gorgeous Katee Sackhoff (Battlestar Glatica), Don Wilson (Batman Forever) and Keith David (EVERYTHING). Click more for my thoughts.


The story takes place in the not so distant future, where the perfect soliders are created to protect mankind and police our nation. Later we find out that these drones actually become our greatest enemies, as they develop a mind of their own and wage a war on the humans. The US army fights back by sending in their Electronically Enhanced Solider to fight off these drones. After a failed mission to win a crucial war, Tallis (Wilson) is the last remaining EE soilder. He is left with his sidekick, an AI that is embedded into his gun that helps him and talks to him throughout the battles. He runs into a rebellion group that has been ambushed by the Drones and only one lady survives (Sackoff). The last remaining goal left for the two, is to infiltrate the drone headquarters, destroy the main computers and rebuild human civilization. Who created this story? It sounded like it was written by a 13 year old. Not only is the story unimaginative, but it is soo boring.
Tallis and his talking gun!

Another thing, a movie that is filled with gun fights and half naked Sackhoff, this should not make me want to take a nap during the movie. I found it harder to keep myself awake throughout most of this movie. The only part that kept me somewhat thrilled was the final boss fight, which was decent at best. And holy cow, water is some kind of invisible force field in this movie! Getting shot at? Don't worry, jump into a body of water in the sewer and never get shot at. Detonate a high explosive that is said to take out anything for 2 blocks? Don't worry, just jump into a random pit filled with water only metres from the explosive and survive! Falling from a 3 story fall? Again, blow a hole in the road and land into the waters of the sewer, because we all know that knee deep water can soften a 10 metre drop from the heavens.

I do have to be thankful, this movie does have one good thing, the acting isn't too bad. I mean most of the characters are drones or a talking gun, but the actual humans acted okay. It was way better than The Happening and a lot better than Mega Shark. So I kinda have to count my blessings on that one. Also, did I mention motherfuckin' Keith David is in this movie? Yeah, he is only in it for a few minutes, BUT DAMN THAT MAN IS A BADASS. He was both the colonel of the EE squad (who dies) and the voice of gun number 2, a big ass chain gun! To add on, this gun is fully automated. It aims for itself, shoots by itself and even takes down a few waves of these drones by itself. How awesome is that? KEITH DAVID AWESOME! Also, there is a shower scene with Katee and you see plenty of sideboob (I'd Sackoff to that if you know what I mean).

My final word is, damn this movie is a waste of time, it kept me busy for a whole 1 1/2 hours and offered me a nice nap. If you have someone you hate, or even despise, recommend this movie to them. You can surely get them with this amazing prank, BITCH GOT PUNK'd. Now excuse me, I have some grass growing to watch, which filled me with more pleasure than this movie did.

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