Poll Position: "Drag Me to Hell" (2009)

With another tight race, “Drag Me to Hell” won by only one vote! Now never actually wanting to see this movie previously, because the trailers made it look very derivative and wasn’t sure I was up for another tedious horror/thriller. But finding out that Sam Raimi was the director, my interest went through the roof. The maker of “The Evil Dead” could never make a terrible movie, excluding Spiderman 3 of course. Though I don’t think even he could be a big enough reason to entice me to see this movie by my own accord. So you guys forced it on us, and these are my thoughts.

In a very Evil Dead style the story is just plain wacky. Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) is blessed with the perfect life of a loving boyfriend Clay (Justin ‘the mac guy’ Long), a well-paying job as a loans officer and is about to be promoted to become the new assistant manager for her bank. This goes all to hell when a gypsy curses Christine with a hex, which will send her to hell in three days. All because Christine declines an extension on the Gypse's mortgage. Talk about tough times. Now to get rid of the wretched curse, she must do a series of challenges. Can she do it in time? Or will the demon take her to her rightful place?

Witch rape is a serious issue among the spellbound universe.

This movie is the perfect example of bi-polarism in a movie form. It starts off just as I expected with a very boring suburbia feeling horror movie, something Hollywood has done one too many times. But it surprises, because a new face arises from this movie. We see the unconventional and zany side when the whole story is uncovered. This is where the amusement starts. This movie is filled with throwbacks from older 70’s/80’s style of horror, something I dearly miss and love.

We start with the usual feel of every thriller, suspense and the usual introduction to the protagonist. Yada yada yada, her life is perfect and is thrown down the shitter. But just when the curse has been released, so has the fun. The tacky and horrific CGI gives it that extra b-movie feel that can really help some horror films. Yes I agree the CGI looks like it belongs in Star Fox 64, but to see blood fountaining out of a woman’s nose and mouth, brings joy in my inner kid.

Movie stars the mediocre Justin 'I killed the Die Hard series' Long.

Now the movie seems to take itself serious for a bit in the beginning and throughout the movie but throws that out as quickly as Paris Hilton’s undergarments.  When the movie does dive deeply in the relationships and story not related to the spooky fun parts, it feels like every other horror film. Nothing that impressed me or even entertained, this was the lowest part of the film. I wish they skipped all the seriousness and kept the movie super cheesy all the way through.

Now the spook-o-meter: It’s not that spooky, but surprisingly one of the scariest movies this month. The outdated graphics help, it has the ‘Doom’ effect. Where you aren’t sure what is attacking you (low resolutions FTL), but you know it’s bad. This is where your imagination runs free and fills in what you don’t see with what scares you. Also there were plenty of gruesome images that even made me twitch. Something about vomit swapping doesn’t flow well in my stomach. Overall, the movie is great for a scare or two.

Alison plays the cursed Christine Brown.

The not so fun parts of the movie, that don't effect it all too much is the acting. Though I say this again and again, terrible acting never harms horror films all that much. But when the movie tries to be as serious as it is, the acting sort of needs to follow. When Alison is acting out a normal woman, she sucks. When she starts to go hell bent crazy, she is un-freakin'-believable. 

Surprisingly enough the movie was very entertaining, even with its lack of polish, skillful actors and slightly serious tone. But I did love the unconventional story, cheesy effects and most importantly the fun feel of the movie. Sam know’s you are watching a horror movie and delivers what can only be described as a bare bone horror film. I left the movie happy to have seen it, even with the slow start. But the ending really is the cherry on top.