Ong-Bak 3: It Just Gets Worse

Finally to finish off my Ong-Bak trilogy, I saw the third movie. And I am not going to beat around the bush. This movie sucked harder than anything else. There were absolutely no redeeming factors of this movie. This is my first movie that I’m giving it the label of “Puneet’s Terrible Movies” without expecting it to be a bad movie. Click the jump to read why this movie fails so hard.

Reason number 1: The love story in this was terrible. I mean, they tried to put in an emotional love story between a spiritual dancer (not the one at your favourite rippers) and Tein. But holy smokes was the love story dry, I felt more of a connection with the hookers from Grand Theft Auto.

Reason number 2: There is more filler material and even less fighting in this movie than any of the others from the trilogy. I counted 4 fight sequences, all lasting sub 10 minutes. None of them felt epic and really didn’t stand out, except the one. And it lasted 2 minutes, where he uses chains to fight off a horde of fighters, kind of like Kratos but minus the wicked flaming swords at the ends.

Reason number 3: Tein time travels by using spiritual meditation. Do I need to go even further with this? I mean this is cheating! As in, they put in this scene of Tein dying to make you feel bad and I guess to make you cry a little, than they backed it up and bam Tein kills the wicked last boss. Totally anti-climactic!

I should be an artist

Reason number 4: The wicked last boss is symbolized as a crow. Caps lock cannot even come close to the feelings of anger I have on how lame the idea of using a crow to symbolize the boss is. I need a super caps lock button for movies like this.

Reason number 5: They have an insane person to be a “comic relief”, to bad he fails harder than a rock. I thought The Situation was funnier and less offensive during the Roast of Donald Trump than this crazy person.

Reason number 6: The movie started off exactly where the second one finished, so you know they made number 2 and 3 at the same time. Sadly number 2 did not have a cliff-hanger for the ending so there was no reason to care for the third movie. So the story remains the same and yet still repeats the basic plot. Instead, Tein dies, turns into a zombie, is trained to become a better fighter by the power of dance. Not even kidding you.

I am yet to find any good reason to watch this movie. I would rather recommend you watch a Mega Shark movie than this. At least those were cheesy and funny to laugh at. Don’t watch this movie, stay away from it and if you ever see it anywhere you have the obligation to burn it on site.