Poll Position: Versus

“Versus” was the kung-fu themed poll winner, and I heard that there were some fine folks out there might have rigged the poll. But that is all right, it’s the fun in having a poll, we knew that eventually a few of you would band together and rig the poll to go one way. And not surprisingly you rigged it so the ‘worst’ movie would win. Now I really don’t mind watching terrible movies, I actually find it fun at times, I just hope Jim opens up and enjoys the movie for what’s worth. Anyways, click more to find out what I actually thought of this movie.

The movie’s premise is quite simple. There are some 666 (see what they did there?) portals that connect our universe to the other side. We start off at portal 444 where a few escaped convicts meet up with a group of crazy gangsters and a kidnapped lady. Not much is said about why they are there but that “he” has planned for something to happen, and we must wait for “him” to get her. But something goes wrong and one of the gangsters gets shot by the ‘hero’ who is one of the prisoners. Oddly enough, the fellow that diedd resurrects and causes a lot of grief for the folks in the forest. They find out that this forest is cursed and revives dead people (FUCK YEAH ZOMBIE MOVIE!). The prisoners run away with the girl, where the gangsters chase ‘em down and get the escapees for their boss.

'He' has your eyeballs, and you want it back. That is how badly you want to see this flick.

Man I got so much to say about this movie, throughout the movie I was comparing it with two movies: Ong-Bak and Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter, yes I know they are totally different movies, but Versus fits perfectly in between both of them. The actual polish of this movie is rather lacking, but it gives it that over the top b-list film feel. Not that this really harms the movie a lot, but it does a good job of lowering your expectation of an amazing movie and just trying to enjoy the little good that it offers.

To start off, I liked a lot of the characters, and there were only a few main characters. We have the (and bear with me, none of them have real names) ‘hero’, the girl, the crazy green shirt gangster, the wuss gangster, the quiet gangster and the evil one (him). And the one I really liked was the green shirt gangster. He was cooky, crazy and just over the top funny. He would make all these funny faces and the way he killed some of the zombies was rather amusing, real childish humour. The three gangsters reminded me off the three stooges, where the main guy would want to do something, but always would get interfered by his dumb sidekicks. I wish they showed more of him, (SPOILER HERE) but his zombie form was pretty WTF.

My uncle takes my nose, green shirt gangster takes your head.

The action scenes were hit and miss. There were a few that were decent, nothing compared to Ong-Bak, and then there were the lousy ones. Sadly there were more lousy ones: some had shitty shaky cam, like if I was holding a polaroid picture. Others had the camera zoomed in all the way so all you saw was an arm passing by the camera. There were times, I didn’t know what the hell was going on, and it irritated me a bit. But the variety of the action was good, there was shooting zombies, knifing zombies, and a bit of martial arts fighting between actual humans. The biggest disappointment was how lacking the final boss fights felt, just boring and unentertaining.

But I would like to talk more about the cheesy parts of the movie. They might have reloaded their guns maybe one time in the whole movie and shot more than 100 times. It was just laughable how they continued to shoot zombies without reloading. The zombies in fact were smart enough to use guns, now because this forest area was a prime location for where they killed a lot of their enemies, the zombies had revived with guns in their hands, how convenient. Also, there were scenes where they were shooting from point blank and still missing, or even better, they would SHOOT EACH OTHERS BULLETS MID AIR, yeah amazing.

Overall, this was a unique movie. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good. I had fun with it, it amused me at times. There were moments where I laughed out loud, others where I wanted to fall asleep. I think JS:VH was a bit funnier, making the movie a tad bit better. But don’t pass this movie, if you like cheesy action/zombie movies, check this out. And I would like to thank the folks that rigged the poll, I would of missed this ‘gem’ if it wasn’t for you guys =D

Last note: First zombie movie on the blog, I think...