Aliens Vs Predator - Requiem

To finish up the epic Alien and Predator series, I got to look at “AVPR: Aliens vs Predator – Requiem”. And after watching AVP, I thought to myself that mediocre movies can be enjoyed … sometimes. But when it comes to terrible movies, only a select few can tolerate them. And then there is me, I find the humour and enjoy some of the worst movies ever made. So here is my interpretation of AVPR.

AVPR takes place right after AVP, where the Alien infested Predator lands on Earth. After the local authorities are called in to investigate, one of the Predators come to Earth to destroy all alien life. So in some sense you can think of the Predator as a member of the good team. As the Aliens infest more humans and multiple, homeland security is brought in but to no avail, the Aliens wipe them out clean. But of course, a random bunch of locals band together to get away from this hellish nightmare. With their poorly trained skills and hunting equipment, they set out to do what the army couldn’t.

Let me set the record straight, this was a slasher movie by all definition. There some nauseating teenage love story, followed by the chick taking her clothes off prior to the Aliens showing up. Then as the Alien chases the teens in a school which a few of them die in the chase, of course. And when you thought it couldn’t be any cheesier, the power goes out and the army is called in. But of course army is useless so the teens and some help they find, they think they can defeat the Aliens.

I got to admit, Predator/Alien hybrid is badass.

God awful story, why did anyone think this would be brilliant? To top it all off, the acting was piss poor, the action (with humans) was umm I’ve seen better action from two turtles fight and why was everything filmed with a blue filter over top of it?! I get it, the area is dark and the movie was spooky or at least it tried to be. Oh and the element of surprise was poorly implemented. The whole point is to surprise, not to give obvious enough signals and then do what we all though was going to happen.

I got to give it to the script writers; I haven’t seen a movie with a script that tried so hard to be funny and failed. They tried to reach back and bring back some memorable lines (“Get back to the chopper”) but it just fell flat. I think I even heard, “it’s a trap” but they can't be that desperate, right? And it doesn’t help the actors seemed like they were getting paid in beans, as they were as enthusiastic as Americans watching soccer.

I did get one fun thing out of it. All the scenes without any humans in it, especially ass kicking scenes with the predator, were phenomenal. Like for example when one of the predators takes off the mask off one that has fallen, wears his mask and sees what he saw minutes before his death. Or the scenes with the fights between the predator and aliens, the action was great but only the ones without humans.

The final fight was intense, to bad the movie isn't.

There isn’t much more I can say about this movie than it was terrible. I really want to give this the Puneet’s Terrible Movies tag, but I think the action and production values gives it just enough for me not to tag it. But by all means does not make it okay to see this film. It is pretty boring with only 10 minutes of fun stuff, so unless you hate yourself don’t see AVPR.