Force Fed Films: See Spot Run (2001)

For weeks and weeks, possibly even months, my manager at work as been bugging both Puneet and I to watch See Spot Run. Completely and solely in an effort to get him to stop, Puneet made See Spot Run my Force Fed Film this week. My manager assured us that this movie was hilarious and just great, and it wasn't just like every other dog movie you've seen. I was doubtful as IMDB gives it a 4.9/10, but Puneet just rewatched Kindergarten Cop which also had a low rating but was pretty good. I figured I'd go in with an open mind, and hopefully find a fun and funny evening ahead of me. My thoughts after the jump.


Before I get into it, here's the basic story. Spot is actually named "Agent 11" and is an agent of the FBI. He's a drug-sniffing SUPER-DOG! I didn't make that up, that's right on the IMDB page. Anyways, in a drug bust, Agent 11 bites the mob boss (why was he personally at a drug pick-up?) in the crotch, tearing off one of his testicles in the process. Because of this, the mob boss (Paul Sorvino) orders a mob hit on the dog. When a failed attempt by these "professional" hit men fails, the FBI decide to put the dog into witness protection (WTF?!) to keep him safe. On the way, Agent 11 busts out of the truck transporting him and ends up with Gordon (David Arquette) and James, a little boy he's been tasked with taking care of when his mom goes out of town. Gordon is generally an idiot and a failure, on top of being a mailman, so he naturally hates dogs. They name him Spot, and the movie continues on until the end.

It's the family friendly cast of the stupidest movie I've ever seen

I was considering writing "and hilarity ensues" at the end of that last sentence. The only problem there is that this is not a hilarious movie. It's not even a funny movie. This is one of the stupidest movies I've ever had the misfortune of watching in my entire life! I want to believe that no one in the world except maybe kids would find this movie funny. But considering my manager, a grown man in his 50s with his own family, said this was hilarious, I have a little less faith in humanity.

I was told that this wasn't like every other dog movie out there. That the characters don't get down to be on the dog's level so they can talk to him. But guess what? This is EXACTLY like every other stupid dog movie out there, and almost EVERYONE gets down to look the dog in the eye and speak to it, and it understands them! At one point, when Spot won't play fetch because he's been trained in the FBI, Gordon bends down and reasons with the dog to play with the boy, because he's had a tough life and it would make him happy. So the dog suddenly starts to play fetch with them.

Everyone talks to the dog, and he seems to understand them all perfectly

Probably the biggest crime this movie made though, was the use of the Hampster Dance song during one of the encounters with the worst hit men in the world in a pet store. While the dog outsmarts the gangsters, David Arquette gets a fish bowl stuck on his head, somehow fully wrapped up, head to toe, with bubble wrap, and then impossibly inflated with helium. This turns Arquette into something resembling a Macy's Day Parade balloon. Spot then bites him in the ass, popping his helium prison and turning him into a giant missile of sorts, and he flies into the hit men and totals the store.

How about a few more random terrible things that happen in this movie? David Arquette repeatedly steps in a huge pile of dog poop, hitting it about 5 times with various parts of his body. The word "retard" is thrown around in a derogatory manor many many times when the dog won't play ball with them. Several scenes of simulated animal abuse happens, like when a hit man fights with a parrot, grabbing it by the wings and seemingly kills it. A small dog is bashed up against a tree several times when it won't get off a hit man's back. Later it is thrown out of the window of a top floor apartment building. There are dog-fart jokes. I'm going to stop there.

If you like slapstick comedies, maybe this is for you. Poor beautiful Leslie Bibb!

Long story short, I hated See Spot Run. The only positive thing about it is that the kid's mom is played by Leslie Bibb, and she's is gorgeous. Unfortunately over the course of the movie they ruin that too. This is a stupid slapstick family comedy where the dog is the smartest character in the whole film. I am clearly not the target audience for this kind of film. If you like other dog comedy movies, by all means you might love this one, but I will happily bash it to the end of time. This is obviously just a paycheck for everyone involved, and I'm saddened to see cool actors like Michael Clarke Duncan lowered so much in a movie like this. It's movie like this that make me never want to watch another film in my life. What a total waste of a night. Avoid this one at all costs, it has no redeeming values.