Getting Lost in the Past with 10,000 BC (2008)

I wasn't sure what to watch today, but everyday when I look at the options available to me, 10,000 BC is always right there taunting me. I heard countless times from pretty much everybody that this isn't a very good movie. The problem I have is that I love prehistoric type stuff, and mammoths, sabertooth tigers and ancient Egypt all scratch that itch pretty well for me. Because of that, I simply couldn't take it anymore and decided to give it a shot. Hopefully lowering my expectations and preparing myself for mindless action will be enough. Hit the jump to find out if it was.


From the title, it's pretty obvious that this movie takes place way in the past. It starts off showing a small tribe that lives in the mountains and has to rely on mammoth meat for food for the whole year. Whenever the mammoth come through their area, I suppose on some kind of migration, they go hunting and it seems like whatever they catch has to last them until the next migration. D'Leh is the son of the lead hunter, so a lot of pressure is put upon him. When a neighboring tribe is found to have been all killed save for a little girl, Evolet, the village elder has a vision that she will be the savior of the tribe after the 4 legged demons come. Years later when D'Leh and Evolet are grown, the tribe is attacked by strange men on horseback dressed as demons. They take Evolet and a number of other people, and D'Leh and the remaining hunters set out to save them and hopefully fulfill the prophecy.

Yeah, I'd run too

First thing I'm going to say here, is that if you can't watch a movie where it relies heavily on prophecy and divine intervention and spirits guiding you and being able to communicate with animals... this is not a movie for you. In which case, avoid it at all costs! Some days I'm one of those people, some days I'm not. Today I was a little of both.

On one hand, it was kinda fun to see D'Leh and the other characters journey across such vast distances that the climate completely and utterly changes. On the other hand, going from snowy mountains to tropical rain forest to barren desert is a journey that would have probably taken years, if it's even possible at all.

Didn't I see this in Aliens 3?

Also while they travel, they come across completely new tribes and villages of people completely unlike their own. This was also kind of cool, and I thought it was fun how each new land had a new prophecy of their own, and all the prophecies linked together to tell the one story we were watching. This is one of those things you have to be able to buy into, that elders can have visions from the gods, and they end up to be totally and completely true. Nothing vague and strange about the prophecies either. They're very blunt in how they have to go down. Like finding a man who can talk to tigers, and they even have a picture of him sitting on the ground in a certain way with a spear. Good thing that EXACT scene played out before the entire tribe!

The problem I started having is that while I would easily be able to buy into something like magic in a fantasy setting, 10,000 BC wants us to believe this is happening in our own history. Even so far as to bring the building of the pyramids into the film. At one point I was just hoping that it would turn out that the rulers of Egypt ordering the pyramids to be built were going to turn out to be aliens and I'd be able to believe this was some kind of prequel to Star Gate or something. No such luck though. What does become clear by the end though, is that because of the way certain events unfold, this certainly can't be believed to be a fanciful version of our past. Perhaps an alternate history or alternate reality? In that way it's a little like Pathfinder.

As big as this area seems, in the film it just feels small

Even though I prepared myself for a mindless movie, and was just looking for some action with prehistoric creatures, I still didn't really enjoy it. Sure I got exactly what I was hoping for, but the action never really hooked me, and a lot of it just felt like stuff I'd seen before. The script, screenplay, story and characters all just felt kinda empty and by the numbers. Make-up and poor costuming also glared falseness when this is supposed to feel like a story taking place in the past. Every thing just feels like it is being shot on a film studio lot and felt small, despite showing vast distance shots on occasion.

I'd have to say that everyone was right, and that even after lowering my expectations a lot, by the end with the whole Egypt business, I was just disappointed. The only other thing that I thought was slightly cool is that they had those huge prehistoric carnivorous flightless "terror birds" in one scene. I really didn't expect to see those, and that was pretty cool. But one action set piece can't make up for a whole, overall forgettable movie. Skip this one, the critics were right.