Now Playing: Immortals (2011)

Last week I had the good fortune to score some free passes to the Toronto Premiere of Immortals. I was a big fan of the movie 300 and really liked the super stylized look of the Spartans and their enemies. While this movie has no connection to 300 with any of the actors or writers or the director, it still seems to remind everyone directly of it. So today I traveled to the city of Toronto to see Immortals the day before its release, absolutely free, hoping for another 300. Did I get what I was looking for? Or was I left with something more akin to the horrendous Clash of the Titans?


The story is summed up pretty well in the trailers. King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) is out for world domination. As bad as that sounds, his ultimate goal is to find a weapon of the Gods, and use it to release the Titans, the mortal enemies of the Gods. Zeus (Luke Evans) commanded long ago that no Gods shall directly interfere with the actions of mankind, and so he places his faith in Theseus (Henry Cavill) to lead men against, and defeat Hyperion.

I'll start off with the things I liked about the movie, because I definitely don't think it's all bad. I thought the style and look of the movie was good, and I liked the spin it took on some of the legends, like that of the minotaur. The look didn't always work, for example some of the Gods *cough*Poseidon*cough* looked rather silly in their outlandish outfits. But of course, what else would I expect a God to wear? The special effects seemed to link in with the style of the film, with some slow motion action scenes similar to 300 but with an interesting angle coming from it being the raw speed at which the Gods move.

Theseus finds the legendary Epirus Bow

The action scenes were also quite good. I loved the scenes with the Gods in their fast/slow motion fights. Lets just say that you'll understand why these are Gods. But they're not the only ones fighting, we also have humans at war and there is plenty of stabbing, spearing, and the shooting of arrows, albeit magic arrows. Just like 300 you'll find a lot of blood spraying around the scenes, especially when Theseus is hard at work.

I also thought the acting was pretty good, or at the very least, I liked the actors. Sadly the dialog and script were pretty bland. I thought Henry Cavill did a decent job of kicking ass and looking cool, but his epic rousing speech at the end was only a few hairs more inspiring than the speech in Clash of the Titans. Read: I didn't care at all what he was saying. Mickey Rourke is a scary evil bad guy. Fredia Pinto (Slumdog Millionaire, Rise of the Planet of the Apes) is gorgeous as the oracle. Last person of significance is Luke Evans, who I just saw in The Three Musketeers, made a good new take on the idea of Zeus. Everybody seems to just play their roles, and no one really stands out. So I guess this is a good point to transition into the bad things about the film.

Freida Pinto as the sight seer Phaedra

Sadly, this movie suffers from massive holes in the story or action that just don't really make sense. Obviously I can't get into specific points as they'd all be spoilers, but I could go on for quite some time, as I did with my friend, pointing out plot hole after plot hole. Then we have the unfortunate look of some of the Gods, the sad tired script, and uninspired characters and speeches. Hmm, I guess I've actually already mentioned most of these while trying to only be positive before. I guess with the good always comes a little bad.

While I didn't think Immortals was a total piece of garbage (my friend did, but he hasn't seen Clash of the Titans) it certainly didn't live up to my hopes for another 300 film. While I generally liked most of the look of the film, and the action scenes were pretty good, the goofy/absurd/stupid plot, largely forgettable cast, and lame dialog holds it back just enough to be a disappointment.

Some stylistic choices are cool (fire whip), others not so much (pointy hats)

Oh, I nearly forgot to mention I saw it in obviously forgettable 3D. While the 3D was clear, and only looked a little wonky a few times, it was largely unnecessary. The movie will give you the exact same experience in 2D if that option is available to you.

In the end, I just can't recommend the movie as a theater experience. It's just not good enough to spend money on. However, if you were one of the few who liked, or at least didn't mind Clash of the Titans, then perhaps you'll get enough enjoyment out of this. Knowing what I know now about the movie, I wouldn't pay to see it, and I'd just wait for a Netflix stream to satisfy my curiosity down the road. Over time, I really think this film will prove to be quite forgettable.